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What’s up with the Christmas?

December 16 2024

Christmas is still ahead of us, but today a few words about the pre-Christmas time….
This special time is approaching….
Some describe it as magical, others as family…. from yet another perspective it can be the most difficult time of the whole year.
So who is right?
Bit by bit, everyone.
Even when we look forward to Christmas with joy – in the period around Christmas we may experience additional stress. It is said that only about 10% of people do not experience any increased stress during this time. No wonder – in addition to our daily duties, we receive additional challenges – organizing family gatherings, shopping in crowded stores, meticulously cleaning the entire house, cooking late into the night, buying new tableware, accessories, decorations, clothes, gifts….STOP. You might want to stop for a moment and ask yourself:

 

How many of these “duties” meet YOUR needs and wants?
It has become accepted that the holiday season simply MUST be joyful, family-oriented and colorful – by design and without any discussion. Surrounded by eye-pleasing commercials, lights, posed photos and videos of beautiful, occasionally-dressed people and adorable, smiling (and presumably “polite”) children – we sometimes start to feel an inner pressure – “and my place is a mess”, “and I don’t have a dress yet, I haven’t bought presents”, “I’ve cleaned up, but I need to buy a million accessories and decorations, like on this commercial”, etc., etc….

It’s very easy to be manipulated by this marketing “Christmas magic,” but it’s worth checking if what we are thinking about is really our real needs? Is it ME who wants a family session, fancy crockery (necessarily new, after all, it’s Christmas), another set of clothes (and necessarily matching my children’s outfit), or have I let myself be talked into it by intrusive ads, etc.?
What matters most to me during the holiday season?
What do I need the most?
What do I dream about for my family? What would I like to see them like?
Sometimes Christmas is indeed a sad time. Maybe you miss someone who is no longer there – perhaps this will be the first Christmas without that person. And you know what?
You might be sad. Yes – you can be sad on Christmas. The most important thing you can offer yourself is understanding, acceptance of your own emotions. Allow yourself that sadness, tears of longing and emotion, if that’s what you need.
What about the famous “on Christmas no one should be alone”? Let’s take a closer look at this phrase. Of course – a time that, by design, is filled with family gatherings and sitting around the table together can stir up some difficult emotions in people living alone. It is important to look at them. It may be sadness and longing for family, a sense of loneliness, but there may also be remorse or anger that you can’t spend this time in your own way (e.g., in your own company) – because of a certain stigma of spending time alone on Christmas.
If for some reason you feel that you would like to be alone – that’s ok!
If you run a single-person household and during the holiday season you feel loneliness and the need for company – you have many options – if you look around you will notice that you are surrounded by people! It can be distant family, neighbors, friends, participants in Christmas meetings organized by various institutions – such as Caritas, or maybe your family lives far away and you can’t meet? – Try to organize a Christmas video call.
Keep in mind that at no time of the year – including this holiday season – are you obligated to enter social situations that you just don’t want to. And contrary to what we hear about everywhere throughout December – you are FREE to be alone on the holidays and no one “should” do anything about it.
However, if there is someone – a neighbor, an acquaintance – who you know is in dire need of company during this time – speak up. A visit, a coffee together, a conversation with another person – this is something that can give very, very much, because you are offering something most precious – attention and time.
Or perhaps you have the ability and desire to donate more of your time to those in need? Look for it – various foundations and institutions organize wafer meetings, and other Christmas celebrations for people living alone, whom you can help.
Whether you’re busy because you’re organizing Christmas, or not participating at all, or maybe you’re sad and miss someone close to you – give yourself a moment just for yourself. Stop and ask yourself what you need. Take care of yourself with warmth and understanding – be your own ally. And relax:) This time of year is for slowing down, not speeding up!
Crisis Intervention Center in Lublin, 6A Probostwo St.: 81 466 55 46
24-hour helpline for people in crisis: 733 588 900
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