Psychiatrists Richard Rahe and Thomas Holmes have compiled a list of the 44 most stressful events in a person’s life. It may come as a surprise to some that the list also includes , “holidays spent with family” (which can include Christmas).
So if Christmas time is not easy for you – you are really not alone in this.
So if Christmas time is not easy for you – you are really not alone in this.
The holidays stress us for a variety of reasons. However, for many people, the accumulation of negative emotions takes place right at the holiday table, such as at Christmas Eve dinner. Even if you love Christmas and look forward to it for weeks, when you sit down at the table with your family, sometimes something happens that leaves unpleasant memories….
Why does this happen?
What can you do to reduce the risk of unpleasant situations?
How do you act so that it’s just nice?
What can you do to reduce the risk of unpleasant situations?
How do you act so that it’s just nice?
“Relax – it’s just Christmas”.
We try so hard to do everything perfectly to make the Christmas gatherings at the table a success. Of course, celebrating together is important – but Christmas is not limited to shared meals and table talk.
Find what matters most to you and your family at Christmas – maybe it’s the free time together and the opportunity to relax and be together, or maybe the religious dimension is most important, maybe something else – and focus on that. Then another remark from a distant relative about, for example, an over-salted dish will not have a chance to spoil your day.
We try so hard to do everything perfectly to make the Christmas gatherings at the table a success. Of course, celebrating together is important – but Christmas is not limited to shared meals and table talk.
Find what matters most to you and your family at Christmas – maybe it’s the free time together and the opportunity to relax and be together, or maybe the religious dimension is most important, maybe something else – and focus on that. Then another remark from a distant relative about, for example, an over-salted dish will not have a chance to spoil your day.
“Difficult questions”.
Probably everyone could add something to the list of difficult questions/topics raised at the table by our loved ones. You yourself know best what topics you find most difficult, annoying, annoying.
What to do? How to answer to stay in harmony with yourself, and at the same time not get on the path towards conflict?
We give you a hint!
The FUKO method – Facts, Feelings, Consequences, Expectations – that is, the necessary elements needed to build a constructive message.
Probably everyone could add something to the list of difficult questions/topics raised at the table by our loved ones. You yourself know best what topics you find most difficult, annoying, annoying.
What to do? How to answer to stay in harmony with yourself, and at the same time not get on the path towards conflict?
We give you a hint!
The FUKO method – Facts, Feelings, Consequences, Expectations – that is, the necessary elements needed to build a constructive message.
Facts.
Don’t assume in advance that someone asking a question that is uncomfortable for you had bad intentions. Instead, try to focus only on what you actually heard rather than your guesses.
Separate the undesirable behavior from the person. Don’t accuse, don’t judge, talk about the facts.
Don’t assume in advance that someone asking a question that is uncomfortable for you had bad intentions. Instead, try to focus only on what you actually heard rather than your guesses.
Separate the undesirable behavior from the person. Don’t accuse, don’t judge, talk about the facts.
Feelings.
Try to get to what YOU are feeling, and in a message spoken to the other person, try to talk only about your feelings about what they said.
Try to get to what YOU are feeling, and in a message spoken to the other person, try to talk only about your feelings about what they said.
Consequences.
Presenting the consequences of a certain behavior. Sometimes someone bringing up a topic doesn’t fully realize what it can lead to. The purpose is primarily to make our interlocutor aware of what the effect of continuing to remain in a given situation (e.g., continuing to ask the same questions, dragging out an uncomfortable topic, etc.) may be.
Presenting the consequences of a certain behavior. Sometimes someone bringing up a topic doesn’t fully realize what it can lead to. The purpose is primarily to make our interlocutor aware of what the effect of continuing to remain in a given situation (e.g., continuing to ask the same questions, dragging out an uncomfortable topic, etc.) may be.
Expectations.
They are used to express our proposal for a solution or request to enable a situation to change.
They are used to express our proposal for a solution or request to enable a situation to change.
Find a respite for yourself amidst the holiday preparations.